The Lies we tell ourselfs are the worst kind

I have decided to start blogging again, i find it very therapeutic.  And i have alot to say, my mind is constantly going. 
 So first things first, lets start with health.  I have decided to inrogre my health and just eat what ever tasted good with out ever thinking of the consequences, sure i watched what i ate, well i watched it go in my mouth,lol  but umm i don't think that counts.  I hate responsibility, anyone who really knows me knows that. But i Finally feel a sense of urgency to get healthy.  I don't want to die early, i really love life, and i don't want to take myself for granted. 
 I really do believe if i put my mind to it i can accomplish so much,  but here we go again, with me deep down being more afraid to succeed then fail.  Maybe its because i have low self esteem so i don't think i deserve it?  I'm just trying to analyze myself. Either way,  i have been lieing to myself, telling myself the things i do daily really don't have a effect on me.  But that's a lie.  I got alot of bad habits.  I love sugar and I'm addicted to crap food.  i also just enjoy coming home and turning into a big blog in front of the TV and not moving till Adam get home, and then pretending i was oh so busy all night. lol  Side notes- these blogs are going to be completely honest, so i still hope you like me after reading these,lol-----  side note ended. 
  So anyways,  Health aside,  things with me and Adam are going good.  We just had our 5 yr Anny so YAY!  sure their are times when we want to kill each other but they are becoming less and less and i really cant imagein myself with out him.  He really is my best friend and the other half of me.  Speaking of friends,  i feel that people come into your life at the right times and reasons.  
 Early this year when i was thinking of switching salons just for financial reasons, i was scared to death!! because i truly loved everyone i worked with and i was very comfortable  to comfortable that i got lazy.  When i did switch, i was surprised.  Surprised how much i really missed my old friends and absolutely love the new ones i have made.  I feel like each one has helped me right when i needed it.  And it really helps to have that support from them,  i have learned so much.  This one is going to be kinda short since its my first one in a while. When i was walking in the park today, taking in the awesome day, sun shining, i realized how lucky i am, that i have the ability to change.  I don't have to be unhealthy.  i can be anything i want to be.  All i have to do is take it.