WAKING UP

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. 
Frank Herbert 


I feel like in life where you get to a point where you long for change,  change that will refresh your soul as if you are standing in the rain in a drought stricken land.
  I need change.  I see what i am, and now i see where i want to be.  The journey in the middle seems to be where i get lost.  I don't understand why i go in circles, afraid to get off my personal carousel even though the music has stopped a while ago.    I recognize my biggest problems, which is fear and confidence.    I tend to just keep to myself and not express my feeling, which can be good or bad depending on the situation.  I have no confidence in myself.  I am really afraid to go after what i want, because if i do get it, i wont have a clue what to do with it.    I have so much that i want to achieve.  I have been asleep in my life for so long.  
I am thankful that i have such a supportive spouse that pushes me toward my goals and that sees the talent me in even when i have doubts.  Doubts of what i can accomplish in my life career wise and health wise.  Its nice that we both feel that need to change and want to be that couple that bikes and runs together.  We are both far away from that now.   It makes my day knowing that he loves me not matter whether im 100 pds away from my goal, today  or in the future when i 10 lbs away.  I feel like we are in this health journey toghter, and im thankful he understand what its like when i feel so far away from my goal. 
So i know this blogs kinda weird, but what it comes down to, is i want to live life to its fullest and work on being the best person i can be.