Today was another wake up call :( I bought a blood sugar testing kit, thinking that it was going to be somewhat normal, nope still freaking high 245 . I was very disappointed because i had worked so hard that past 2 days. I am new to this blood sugar crap so i dont know how long it takes before it goes down.
Today has not been easy in the least bit, i dont know why today has been so hard. I guess when you go from nothing to serious in 2 secs it just shocks your body. I am soo tired, for no reason. I did walk a mile today so thats a start. But i have a confession :( i thought i was going to die if i didnt have something sweet which is kinda ironic if you think about it, so i went to braums and searched out the lowest carb and sugar ice cream they have. Old habbits die hard, but atleast im making better choices when i totally jack up. Today is day 2 of no Dr pepper, but thats only hard after i eat.
I hate stress!! i hate money worries, i hate lots of things really. So this is going to be one of those blogs,lol.
So while im on my grumpy kick, its soo annoying when people cant get along, really? i dont understanding the judgeing of others? No body is any better then anyone else. People get riled up over the dumbest things, Im a people observer by nature and i try to understand why people do and say the things they do. I feel old enough to know better, am i the only one that knows better? Am i the only one that sees catty comments really do hurt peoples feelings. Some times i feel like our family is turning into ww3, nobody gets along, or for very long. I dont know im just so frustrated. I just dont feel like we spend enough times with our family because you never know how long someone will be with you, i mean people dont live forever. So we should all try to spend time toghter and really love each other like we should.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Lies we tell ourselfs are the worst kind
I have decided to start blogging again, i find it very therapeutic. And i have alot to say, my mind is constantly going.
So first things first, lets start with health. I have decided to inrogre my health and just eat what ever tasted good with out ever thinking of the consequences, sure i watched what i ate, well i watched it go in my mouth,lol but umm i don't think that counts. I hate responsibility, anyone who really knows me knows that. But i Finally feel a sense of urgency to get healthy. I don't want to die early, i really love life, and i don't want to take myself for granted.
I really do believe if i put my mind to it i can accomplish so much, but here we go again, with me deep down being more afraid to succeed then fail. Maybe its because i have low self esteem so i don't think i deserve it? I'm just trying to analyze myself. Either way, i have been lieing to myself, telling myself the things i do daily really don't have a effect on me. But that's a lie. I got alot of bad habits. I love sugar and I'm addicted to crap food. i also just enjoy coming home and turning into a big blog in front of the TV and not moving till Adam get home, and then pretending i was oh so busy all night. lol Side notes- these blogs are going to be completely honest, so i still hope you like me after reading these,lol----- side note ended.
So anyways, Health aside, things with me and Adam are going good. We just had our 5 yr Anny so YAY! sure their are times when we want to kill each other but they are becoming less and less and i really cant imagein myself with out him. He really is my best friend and the other half of me. Speaking of friends, i feel that people come into your life at the right times and reasons.
Early this year when i was thinking of switching salons just for financial reasons, i was scared to death!! because i truly loved everyone i worked with and i was very comfortable to comfortable that i got lazy. When i did switch, i was surprised. Surprised how much i really missed my old friends and absolutely love the new ones i have made. I feel like each one has helped me right when i needed it. And it really helps to have that support from them, i have learned so much. This one is going to be kinda short since its my first one in a while. When i was walking in the park today, taking in the awesome day, sun shining, i realized how lucky i am, that i have the ability to change. I don't have to be unhealthy. i can be anything i want to be. All i have to do is take it.
So first things first, lets start with health. I have decided to inrogre my health and just eat what ever tasted good with out ever thinking of the consequences, sure i watched what i ate, well i watched it go in my mouth,lol but umm i don't think that counts. I hate responsibility, anyone who really knows me knows that. But i Finally feel a sense of urgency to get healthy. I don't want to die early, i really love life, and i don't want to take myself for granted.
I really do believe if i put my mind to it i can accomplish so much, but here we go again, with me deep down being more afraid to succeed then fail. Maybe its because i have low self esteem so i don't think i deserve it? I'm just trying to analyze myself. Either way, i have been lieing to myself, telling myself the things i do daily really don't have a effect on me. But that's a lie. I got alot of bad habits. I love sugar and I'm addicted to crap food. i also just enjoy coming home and turning into a big blog in front of the TV and not moving till Adam get home, and then pretending i was oh so busy all night. lol Side notes- these blogs are going to be completely honest, so i still hope you like me after reading these,lol----- side note ended.
So anyways, Health aside, things with me and Adam are going good. We just had our 5 yr Anny so YAY! sure their are times when we want to kill each other but they are becoming less and less and i really cant imagein myself with out him. He really is my best friend and the other half of me. Speaking of friends, i feel that people come into your life at the right times and reasons.
Early this year when i was thinking of switching salons just for financial reasons, i was scared to death!! because i truly loved everyone i worked with and i was very comfortable to comfortable that i got lazy. When i did switch, i was surprised. Surprised how much i really missed my old friends and absolutely love the new ones i have made. I feel like each one has helped me right when i needed it. And it really helps to have that support from them, i have learned so much. This one is going to be kinda short since its my first one in a while. When i was walking in the park today, taking in the awesome day, sun shining, i realized how lucky i am, that i have the ability to change. I don't have to be unhealthy. i can be anything i want to be. All i have to do is take it.
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